by Steven D. Johnson
Racine, Wisconsin
(Page 4 of 4)
Previous Page
1
2
3
4
A Few Answers… Please!
There are a lot of things I would like to receive as gifts this month. You see, my birthday and Christmas are in the same month, so it is not "over-the-top" or even "selfish" for me to occasionally think of these things. I posted my (expensive) wish list on the
Highland Woodworking Blog
, but not everything I want costs money. I would also like the answers to some simple questions! For example…
Why is the name brand of all men's underwear printed in one-inch tall letters all around the waistband? Seriously, is that the best idea the marketing department could come up with to sell more underwear? And exactly how does this "advertising" work? I'm not going to wear my underwear outside my pants, and I'm way past wearing my pants halfway down my, uh, posterior region. Sorry, I'm not advertising my underwear! Perhaps the idea was to avoid those awkward conversations in the locker room, "Man, I really like your underwear, where did you get it?" That ain't happening at my golf club… no way.
Words are important… and the meanings they convey. Which explains why I am perplexed when I sometimes encounter "missing" words. For example, on a less-than-scientific scale temperatures are said to range from hot, to warm, to lukewarm, to cool, to cold… why is there no "lukecool?" We go straight from lukewarm to cool and cold, with no intermediate lukecool step. Seems odd to me. Wouldn't it be useful to say, "Use the glue when it is lukecool to achieve the longest open working time."
Who invented the ubiquitous pry-open, hammer-close paint can? Was it patented? Does the inventor get royalties? Every can of paint or finish from every manufacturer for 50 years (that I can vouch for) opens and closes exactly the same way. We're talking billions of cans folks… I want to know who is making the money for the invention. And, by the way, is this really the "state of the art?" The cans are hard to open, hard to close, and the fact that paint always fills the little rim inside the can is just stupid. Is there nothing better? Has humankind run out of ideas?
Speaking of designing, if you were to design a drafting table, which by definition is to be used for hand-drawing things, would you use Sketchup to make the drawings?
Do they put mousetraps around the restaurants at Disney World? Just wondering…
Some things scientists tell us sort of make sense… I can envision starving Neanderthals wandering around trying to eat anything they found… nuts, flowers, berries, leaves, roots. So I understand when scientists tell us that memory and communications developed as a way to perpetuate the species. Neanderthals could warn each other, "That mushroom will kill you," or "That mushroom will make you do stupid things." But who, or more appropriately, how, did someone figure out to tap the sap out of a maple tree, boil it down, and turn it into syrup for Neanderthal pancakes? That's a lot of steps… that didn't happen by accident. Perhaps aliens conveyed that precious information to humankind. I'd really like to know the true story.
...
Well, friends, the holidays are upon us. By the time you read this you have hopefully had your fill of turkey and football, and perhaps friends and family, and you are busily getting ready for the most joyous season of all. I want to thank each and every one of you for reading my column, watching my videos, and for being a good friend in woodworking. I wish you abundant joy, good health, and prosperity in the coming year!
(Page 4 of 4)
Previous Page
1
2
3
4
Steven Johnson is retired from an almost 30-year career selling medical equipment and
supplies, and now enjoys improving his shop, his skills, and his designs on a full time basis
(although he says home improvement projects and furniture building have been hobbies for most of his
adult life).
Steven can be reached directly via email at
downtoearthwoodworks@me.com
.
Return to
Wood News
front page
